It was supposed to be a part-time job… but they kept asking me to work overtime and wouldn’t register the hours, but if I said I wouldn’t do it they would threaten to not renew my contract. The worst is that it was like, my main source of income, and now I can keep getting jobs, but I haven’t been getting enough to live on and to prove to the Ausländerbehörde that I have enough so they renew my visa again. It was an impulsive decision because I was angry, but now I’m scared of not finding something else in time.

CAT
I know the feeling of not being sure to make it to the end of the month, but I also know that sometimes it’s better to get rid of something that is harming your health. You made the best choice for yourself, you need to congratulate yourself on choosing your health.

YAN
Uhhh… But what if I can’t handle the stress and keep being a mess, but now without the safety of knowing that I can pay my rent? What if I, like, don’t…?

CAT
[interrupting]
You’re doing it again.

YAN
Doing what?

CAT
Spiraling

YAN
[sighs]
Ugh, it’s so hard not to.

CAT
Try to see it from another angle: now if you have more time, you can find other things, right?

YAN
[sighs]
I wish it was this simple. It’s hard to do things when I’m feeling like this…

CAT
What would make you feel better then?

YAN
I don’t know, having some sort of safety, something that would guarantee at least my rent and groceries, I guess also the krankenkasse. Then I could work to make the rest, you know? But, like, this uncertainty just makes me feel anxious, like, all the time.
But I guess this is too much to ask.